Nowadays, the news of divorce cases is no longer surprising as many people often put countdowns on the occasion of the celebration of every marriage. And the advent of the internet has not in itself helped matters, as couples, especially celebrities, often rush to social media to post marital issues. PAUL OKAH reports.
“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has united, let no one separate it ”is a passage from Matthew 19: 6 which speaks of the exclusivity and sanctity of marriage, which is often ignored or ignored when couples begin to experience problems. conjugal.
These days, it’s common to see romantic couples in the past take legal action against each other and go out of their way to divorce for different reasons, mostly as a result of minor disagreements.
However, according to surveys, social media appears to fuel marital conflict, as details about couples’ lifestyles are often posted by sour parties, to the derision of readers.
Moreover, even when either party wishes to work on solving marriage issues, searching the internet is often daunting, as the opinions of supposed feminists, home breakers and non-professionals always do. surface to fuel disagreements, thus eroding the chances of settlement. or reconciliation.
In recent weeks, the internet has been inundated with news of divorce and marital issues involving some Nigerian celebrities, including Paul Okoye (aka Rudeboy) of the late P-Square music group, African Queen Crooner, Tuface Idibia, the enigmatic actress. Tonto Dike, actor Nedu from Wazobia FM, Tega Dominic from Big brother Naïja, among others.
The marital issues of the aforementioned celebrities bordering on cheating, neglect and other complaints revealed by their wives or concubines have been all the rage on social media for the past month, with twists every hour or every day. by “actors” and bloggers and other Nigerians adding “salt and pepper” to fuel the problems; in order to generate comments and traffic to the sites.
Invitation to more problems
Reacting to Nigerians’ penchant for rushing to social media to disclose family issues, veteran journalist Azuka Onwuka said in a September 6 Facebook post that it was an invitation to disaster because many would naturally offer unsolicited advice, while the Internet does. don’t forget anything posted on it.
“If you make your marital problems public, there are millions of them who love it and will help you add gasoline to the fire you have started. Deleting such a message afterwards makes no sense. If you don’t want more problems in your marriage, don’t post about your marriage in the first place, unless you’ve decided to leave the marriage. You cannot ridicule your spouse in public while wanting to continue your marriage. It’s contradictory, ”he said.
Talk with Master plan weekendSocial commentator Rosemary Okorie said many people will now be afraid of getting married at the rate that marital issues and divorce cases are posted daily on social media.
She said: “I am concerned and really disturbed by the recent developments in the country. Gone are the days when elders and family members were asked to sort out marital problems. Now social media has taken center stage, with quack advisers and illegal lawyers. Just last week, not to mention the whole month of August or the year, social media relationship update or celebrity marital issues pitted Tuface Idibia against his wife, Annie; actor, Mr. Nedu against his ex-wife; Tega against her husband, then Paul Okoye and his wife.
“Indeed, the devil is destroying marriages lately. What amazes me most is the fact that the women in these relationships were the first to post their marital problems on social media, whether they are guilty or innocent. In fact, I honestly wonder what Nedu’s ex-wife was thinking when she gave interviews to news organizations, now posting her reactions in snatches. Its action is in itself reprehensible, but sharing it on social media and giving interviews is like washing your dirty laundry in the market. I’m not thrilled with people’s private issues. I hate when adults quickly forget about the good times they shared together, just because they’re not together anymore. It’s not nice at all!
“You know, we have this mental fracture in our heads. It seems that our sense of reason is damaged and that many cannot think well. Everyone wants to be a celebrity by exposing themselves on social media, especially our women. To me, this is nonsense, because there are things you don’t have to expose.
“Of course Nigeria is a dramatic country, including some of its citizens. Every week there has to be a new social media drama. This last quarter of the year was devoted to divorce / infidelity between married couples and lovers. You see this generation of mobile phone users, the divorce rate will be a lot soon. It’s not “I’m engaged or I’m getting married”; what do you have to offer in marriage? This is why you see couples cheating from top to bottom. However, I am sad that most married women are not ashamed to expose their adulterous life, their whim and promiscuity. May God save us!
Speaking exclusively to this reporter, marriage counselor Mr. Theophilus Balogun said couples are barely meeting family members and experts to resolve their marital issues as they now believe the internet offers better options. , while it is counterproductive.
“From all indications, weddings don’t last long these days due to many factors. Aside from couples who get married for different reasons other than love, too much demand, cheating, and love of material things are some of the reasons marriages break down faster than you might think. . A visit to our courthouses and a trip to the legal columns of major newspapers will tell you everything you need to know about couples in love who spend thousands, if not millions, just to divorce.
“All of the problems mentioned above are simply the result of intolerance, lack of understanding, lack of communication and other factors affecting marriages. Long ago, parents, family members, and in-laws were always the people couples depended on when problems arose in marriages. More often than not, the problems would be solved without the general public knowing.
“Over time and development, guidance and counseling experts and professional marriage counselors began to make a living helping couples resolve disputes outside of family circles. More often than not, the success rate was high as I have personally spoken to couples about divorce considerations on issues that are even ridiculous when rephrased.
“However, recently it seems that this new craze of Nigerians, regardless of their social class, to rush to social media to disclose their issues to the world, who often don’t care and will even add fire to themselves. ensure that marriages are broken as many of them are single, divorced or just bitter souls looking to destroy, ”he said.
He added: “They call it ‘a capture cruise’ when they offer unsolicited advice to anyone wanting to share their marital issues on social media, but it’s the poster that should be blamed for leaking her. privacy to the whole world as there is an African proverb that says “he who brings home ant infested firewood should be ready to dine with lizards.” People should learn to talk to marriage experts, instead of rushing to social media to share marital issues with people who don’t even want well for them.
“God himself does not like the idea of divorce or the breakdown of families, for the institution of marriage is sacred and intended for procreation, unity and a better world. So, I will always advise people to reconsider rushing to social media to meet bitter souls and those who are willing to fuel problems. When you are having trouble resolving your marital problems within the family, meet with professionals to help you. Any marriage or marital issue brought to social media or the public is pretty much gone because many people are not happy that you are married or are successful in your endeavors.